b takes me up to the cabin and i am astonished. at the quiet and the close-to-obscenity of the mountains hurtling at an impossible angle towards the lake, the waterfall and its pools, more falling, more pools. we make fresh pasta and talk about romantic love and desire and how it is a place we choose to put our energy because it gives us a lot. we talk about the shame of this and how sleeping with or loving people you work with is, power wise, gendered away from our favour. we notice that it is so obvious and yet still hard to recognize that the feeling isn’t complicit with the action but rather the frame.